Ya Dig?

Sorry I missed the mini reunion on Friday

Work and life has been a bit hectic. I really don’t know if I went to sleep last night or just continued to do things once I got out of class. Today’s post will be completely random and it could quite possibly make little sense. I’ve got so many thoughts swirling around in this head, so keep reading or press the little house on the tool bar and get the heck out of here.

Elephant Balls…

That’s the nickname for my Economics teacher. He’s like 175 years old and he insists on sitting in front of the class with his legs wide open, balls hanging down in his pants. I can’t even look at him. It’s made me consider, will my future husband’s balls look like that when he gets old? Are there exercises that can be done to prevent that level of decline? I can I look at that and feel a moment of arousal? Imagine the presentation, I think I just felt a little vomit in the back of my throat.

Fake Lesbianism

I’m contemplating becoming a fake lesbian. Yeah Yeah, in the previous paragraph I just talked about a possible future husband, but seriously I’m considering identifying as a lesbian…but it’ll be fake lesbianism…I just won’t actually date women or have sex…kind of like what I’m already doing…but I’ll just shoot an evil look at every man who attempts to talk to me.  I shouldn’t feel that way. There are honestly some men I know, love, and respect but they’re either attached…too many friggin miles away from where I am…or totally out of my league. I think I need to stop going to the barbershop, it’s changing my view of men. Every week I sit there and I listen to them talk a big game about nothing. I have a bit of an unresolved history with my son’s barber, anywho, I listened to them go on and on about one client who came in with her son. I was told I was pretty and classy and all that good stuff but this client displayed her goods and they were all in heaven. So the comparison was made between health food vs. soul food. I’m health food, good for you, keep you strong, healthy, and living for a long time, but she’s soul food, good to the last drop and so what if your arteries get clogged in the process.

What’s even worse, women can be just as stupid. I have a close friend, that would be more than a friend if several states didn’t separate us at this stage in our lives, who is a man in the truest sense of the word, but he’s constantly dropped by the women he dates because he’s not rough enough. They don’t want to go for walks and have romantic evenings. They want their backs blown out and they want to dance at the club all night. I also told this guy he needs to up his age requirement by about five years and maybe some of that will stop. Needless to say we’re all stupid in love and relationships I guess. It’s bad when you start finding sense in Steve Harvey’s book about relationships. Maybe he should host Tough Love. I spent the day looking at VH1 on Monday, don’t tell…

Dumb Work Stuff…

An article was printed in our local newspaper, quoting the mayor of the city who stated that our current office building will be torn down and the site used for the new Federal courthouse. Every on site is still denying it. Why would the mayor go on record if it wasn’t true. Are we moving? Are we closing? Will I have a job in six months? Somebody tell me something, anything.

So what’s going with you folks today?

Let’s brush the dust off the bible and confess!

I seen this on http://crunkanddisorderly.com/ and thought it was a fun post.   What is your guilty pleasure song?  You know, the one where you know you shouldn’t be dancing to at the club, the one that has that infectious beat, but would be ashamed to recite the lyrics in front of your mother?

I must at admit Scarefaces F*ck  Faces is one of my favorites, Apache’s “Put it in your mouth”..just love that beat, and from the Trick daddy and Jaheim had me from the first line of the chours

 ”Girl you got the big ol ass
And fine hair
And all the sh*t that I want
Sexy motherf*cker
You acting like you want it right now
Let a nigga know
Is we gonna f*ck tonight.

Yeah, it makes me tingle and giggle just thinking about, and I was raised to be a “lady”..lol.  So spill it, whats your guilty pleasure song?

LAURENS COUNTY, S,C. — A woman who says she had no connection to a funeral danced in front of the service, waved a wand over the casket, opened it and touched the deceased man and then threw the flowers from the casket at the family, deputies said.

Laurens County deputies responded to reports of a disturbance at the Church of God in Gray Court on Tuesday. Those attending the funeral said that the woman had joined the procession. They said once they were seated inside the church, the woman then danced in front of them near the casket. They said after she waved the wand over the casket and had touched the deceased man, she hit him in the head with the wand.

The family said after the woman threw the flowers from the top of the casket at them, she drove off in a burgundy Toyota with North Carolina plates.

Deputies pulled the vehicle over on Interstate 385. They asked the driver, 25-year-old Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard, about the funeral, and they said she admitted to doing everything the witnesses in church said she did.

Deputies said Leonard told them she behaved the way she did because she “felt it was the right thing to do at the time.” She said she was driving through the area from North Carolina and did not know anyone at the church.

Leonard has a Web page that says she is a massage therapist who recently graduated from The Center For Massage and Natural Health in Weaverville, N.C. On her Web page, she says, “My private office is tucked away in a serene valley surrounded by an amazing mountain-scape. My loving energy and slow flowing technique provide a truly outstanding relaxation massage.”

Leonard is charged with disorderly conduct and disrupting a funeral.

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Now, how about that for a news story on Thursday morning!!!!!!!!!!

Do people actually go the the club and do the stanky leg? It reminds me of the dance my drunk uncle been doing for ages, I think they owe him $$.

Wtf was Cristina Milian Thinking?

http://www.freshandfab.net/2009/03/love-or-hatechristina-milians-blonde.html

Parents discipline your kids, or the cops will do it for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwThkSnN1Z8 dirty rat bastard.

I have found that I’m addicted to reruns of Charmed, I mean seriously, I’m almost late to work everyday to watch a full episode, and go home early to catch the 4:00 show, damn witches have put a spell on me.

I wish ODB where alive so that he could put out another album, he amuses the hell out of me.

My son’s moustache has grown in, I want to wipe it off his face.

I got tipsey last night, for no reason at all..does that mean I have a problem?

I’m tired of everyone complaining about the stimulus package, at least he’s making a f*cking effort..instead of standing around with a duh look like or former POTUS.

Sometimes I just want to slap a b*tch.  No reasons in particular..just want too.

**Oh, forgot to add, I often dream of becoming a stripper to supplement my income, but I don’t want to dance..I just want to jump up and down in place to Right Said Fred music…**

My cousins 12 years old son ran away from home yesterday.  You see, his mother is in a new relationship, feeling the strain of having a preteen son, and pregnant by the new guy in her life.  Told her child that he was worthless, that she wish she never had him.  That she wishes it was just her, her youngest and the new baby she was having.

What kind of mother does this? What kind of mother throws such careless words at her child?!!!  I pondered this, as I called around town, searched through Myspace to see where he could have went.  you see, this mother couldn’t even tell us what her child had on today, didn’t know his friends or who he would associated with.

He reached out to his grandmother, my aunt.  She wasn’t home, so he left her a note that read,  “My mother told me she doesn’t love me anymore, told me she wishes I were never born and to find a new home.  So, that’s what I am going to do.” 

My aunt crying calling all of us frantically, my grandbaby is gone..I don’t know where!!  Feeling helpless and frustrated.  See, this girl had options.  My aunt took good care of her son, asked her to allow him to stay with her when the mother was struggling.  He was the product of a one night stand with her son.   Even still, when my cousin found out this girl was pregnant, he tried to make it work, bought her a house and all she wanted to do was party and smoke weed.

I know that none of us are perfect, I know all of us at some point have had or will have, trying times with our children.  But, for the life of me I would never tell my child that I regret his/her life.   I feel that as soon as you make the decision to become a mother, you put yourself second.   I can’t find any prouder moment, then looking into the eyes of my children, even when they’ve dissapoint me.

We found him last night, wondering the streets looking for a new home, and while he has temporary  refuge (I hope permanent unless the courts get involved) at his grandmothers house.  I wonder about the permanent scars his mother has left him.