Ya Dig?

Yeah I’m supposed to be on hiatus…but sometimes blogging is like a bag of fresh green with no stems or seeds…you should put it down…but you roll another one…

Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ki is on hiatus until January 5, 2009.

Enjoy your holiday everyone.

Like y’all didn’t know it was him already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Photo courtesy of Lisa Jack and Time.com

I’m sharing again…

This song makes me happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Everyone is out caught up in the madness of trying to make someone’s eyes light up on Christmas morning. Finding the perfect gift. Making delicious cookies and pies and cakes oh my.

Yet a larger reality for most adults during the holiday season is the division of time between parents.

I’ve shared about my struggles with my son’s father in the past. I asked my mother just this morning how in the world did I end up with someone so cold hearted for so long. I think my son is perfect. I love him dearly. I’ll discipline him when necessary and love him always. I just don’t get the disconnect his father has in their relationship. When our relationship ended, it wasn’t pretty. I had dealt with over three years of infidelity, loud talking, and threats. I found my inner strength and voice when I had a child that looked to me for protection and I was not taking this negro’s stuff any longer. He punished his son because our relationship ended. He couldn’t see being a father without being with me. Even before that, the relationship suffered. He didn’t want you to tell him how to take care of him. Bathe him. Rock him to sleep. He was above all of that and it was the woman’s job. Then when J could walk and became an automatic woman magnet, well he got a little more interested in him. It was a struggle to get him to help support him. Every request was  met with a question. Do you really need to be in school? Can’t  you work full time and take care of him?  Does he need Pampers and not the store brand diapers?

Now with all that history gone and in the past. A trend has emerged. Every year around Thanksgiving, someone returns to the picture. Ready to play daddy. Ready to spend time with his son. Ready to share in the holiday festivities. Catch a few basketball games lil’ man is playing in. Although lil’ man is only a few inches from his height. Then he’ll slowly fade to the background after the New Year. Waiting for November to start the cycle over again.

I promised myself this year I would not let this game break me. I would not let this game ruin my holiday. I would not lay my religion on the shelf and cuss him out for the upteenth time. Strangely I have some peace. I’m letting J guide me this year. If he wants him around, he’ll be called. If not, he won’t be. So far his choice has been no. I know this is going to lead to a debate about children doing what they’re told and not being allowed to have a say in what they want. However, my baby is morphing into a young man right before my eyes. He’s not stupid and he sees through his father’s charade. This man has called four times since Thanksgiving. All three calls have been request to come see him play, but J doesn’t want him there, says he can’t focus. One call was a request to switch roles and let him stay with him for a few months. Not one time did he ask,  what do you want for Christmas? Hey do you want me to come to your Christmas service at church? How was your day? Amazingly, I’m somewhat calm and it scares me. I’m afraid I’m going to lose it. The other part of me is scared that I’ve become numb. Maybe I’m just tired of dealing with all the games and the madness.

I turned this into a Ki vent moment…Sorry

Today’s topic, how are you dealing with exes this holiday season. Many of us aren’t with the ones we share the parenting role with, so how are you handling the situation?

I woke up screaming f*ck the world today..well, not really. I actually woke up in good spirits this morning, until I went outside and seen all of this damn snow.    So, f*ck Kansas it is.

Its Tuesday, the bulk of my work was completed yesterday, its a snow day, an empty office, and I ain’t got sh*t to do.   So, I decided to ramble about nothingness, I know you guys are all delighted!

Keisha’s post yesterday, reliving our “Wu-tang” take no prisoners days of Amule, reminded me that I did used to speak with more sustenance. But, hey, I’ve had more fun on ya dig honestly.

I wonder if going out and making a snow angel will give me the same thrill, that it did when I was younger?

I wonder if I invested in a sex swing, just how many positions could I execute on it?

I wonder if I can take my sarcasm to new heights without just being damned annoying?

I wonder if I honestly give a damn if people are annoyed?

I wonder since aliens are rumored to be superior then humans, if having sex with one with be on a higher level? Wonder if he can make me actually levitate and orgasm?

Every since the shoe throwing incident, and watching Bush bob & weave, I want to see him in a boxing ring, with Oscar De La Hoya, I mean who would honestly be the bigger threat?

I wonder if I walk around with a boom box and some cut out cardboard and actively challenge people to a dance off, will they accept the challenge?

I wonder if I wore corduroy pants, with wool tights under it, could I cause enough static to create a fire?

I wonder why when you catch a child digging in their nose, they pause..and in slow motion still put their finger in there mouth?

I wonder why we spend most of our lives saying no to sex, but complaining about how we are not getting any?

Oh, and Fb, I tried the “Sizzler” line dance last night, my son giggled and called it gay, so I guess its back to the drawing board..I just don’t think we’re going to get too many dudes to kiss their finger tips and smack their ass…and it was such a promising concept.

Tony don’t call no more, Don’t have it on more
Maybe there is something wrong with his phone
Maybe it’s mornin’ and the thrill is gone
And I’m not sure that I’m still respected
And I’m not in a rush to fill rejected.
Not by Tony

Tony don’t care no more
He doesn’t want me there no more
I just want to know what I did wrong
Damn this would make a real good song
I don’t have these nights to often
I wish I could take my mind off him
But I really like Tony

And he wasn’t just some regular guy
Toni actually the other night
Oh why

I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony
I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony

Me and Tony don’t speak no more
It all most been a week oh no
My how time goes so fast
But I still refuse to call his ass
I remember the way that I reacted
And today is even more attractive
But I really miss Tony.
Then Tony call me one day

He said that he just called to say hey
And it wasn’t until he called me back
That I realized I needed more than that
I’m a love wiser and a little older
Hey baby it was nice to know ya
Good bye Tony.

Still he wasn’t just some regular guy
Tony actually the other night
Oh why

I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony
I could’ve been in love by now
If it wasn’t for Tony

I don’t go with yesterday no more
Now I’m feeling free (I’m feeling free)
Today and tomorrow told me (what they said)
That’s where I should be (that’s where I should be)
That’s where I should be (so I’m moving)
I’m moving (so I’m moving on)
I’m going, Can’t wait forever (I’m moving on)
I’m going (so I’m moving on)
I’m leaving
I miss you baby

Still he wasn’t just some regular guy
Tony is actually the other night

If it wasn’t for Tony

Never thought I would really feel a Knowles song. Then I heard T.O.N.Y.

It was catchy and the acronym was perfect.

The Other Night Why?

I could have been in love by now if it wasn’t for Tony. This one got me because a Tony called my phone yesterday. Just wanted to check up on me and maybe catch up with me while he was in town for the holidays. That Tony, caused me to quit seeing a guy who was really sweet, but wasn’t exciting like Tony.

So nothing else major to say. Just sharing.

A little over a week to go.

Are you done shopping?

What do you want for Christmas?

What are you looking forward to the most?

Ok, How was everyone’s weekend?

It’s Friday…

Back away from the pile of work…

The checkbook that needs to be balanced…

Or even the tv for my folks at home…

Confession is good for the soul…

Let it begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!